The Baffling: Driving in Korea

I wanted to start posting some articles simply about what baffles me about this country. Nothing bad, nothing offensive, I LOVE Korea...  just some things that are different and take some getting used to.

The Issue: Driving. 

Koreans are NOT bad drivers. Lets get that straight. They are the best goddamned drivers in the whole goddamned universe. Take my word for it. If you can park a car in a space that's only 8 feet long, If you can navigate tiny narrow side alleys that also have cars parked in them and not get a dent in your side, If you can go a million miles an hour and stop on a dime, then you are a good driver. Korean's have amazing reflexes, great spacial skills and an ability to handle a vehicle no American can. However...

That is not a parking space, sir.

There seems to be a manual somewhere about traffic laws, safety and... er... logic that has either been thrown to the wind or forgotten. Please enjoy this video for an example of said wayside text.

I must confess, when I initially came here, I was scared out of my mind to cross the street. Now cars are like the deadly yet temperate animal which creeps up beside me in the street while I am walking... the menacing cat which brushes against my leg when least expected... the snake which, if I don't disturb it and stay out of its way, wont kill me.

Screw it, I'll just take the subway...

The rules of the road here are thus:

1. Cars have the right of way.
2. There is a little bit of room, I can probably fit.
3. I'm late, get out of my way.
4. Yield? Stop Sign?
5. Oh! I missed the entrance! Oh well 6 point turn right here right now! Reverse!
6. Red lights mean proceed with caution. Look both ways first.
7. A sidewalk is only a guideline as to where I can go. On it? Cool.
8. U Turn anywhere there is no immediate on-coming traffic. Relatively slow on-coming traffic, OK.

So, basically, no stopsigns, optional stoplights, do whatever and hope no-one dies.

Pretty much. 

 Regardless, after living here for a while, I've finally learned how to jaywalk appropriately and how to dodge U-turning death machines. I was actually with a friend the other day who parked on the turn corner of a sidewalk and was just like "okay, cool, not a parking place but whatever". I really am starting to adapt. I swear.

But then... there's taxis...

I will get you there for 2,000 won if it kills you!

Fast and deadly efficient. These cabs will take you anywhere you want for the low low price of 5,000 won and possibly your life. Cab drivers take corners like stunt men, straightaways like they are in the italian job, and your money like "hey it's no big deal your hearts on the floor". Oh, also, seatbelts are incredibly rare in these babies, and in most cars here. In and out. Get out, you sweaty, hard-breathing pale-faced American!

I hesitate to even mention bikes, motorbikes and ATV's all of which are allowed on sidewalks and in alleys and up porches and onto your lap.

Wheeeee!!!

The moral of this story, and what baffles me, is pretty much how I actually got used to this kind of wheel/engine operated organized chaos. I have to stress again that I will never feel safer than in a car with a Korean (even some cab drivers) 'cause if it was me on the road, I'd be dead 3 times over from either stress or a serious head on collision. I just don't have the skill or the guts. I've even been told by some friends that North American drivers are "way to slow!!"

With that I'm gonna leave you with a TLDR post courtesy of Eat Your Kimchi blog. No seriously. Watch it. It's worth it, especially if your new here. I'm doing this for you and possibly your life.  Do it. I dare you.