Oooohhh... Fashion

Okay so when I packed my two HUGE bags to come here back in February, I wish I really would have done a little research. Not research involving what to be prepared for, language etc... I did enough of that. The fact of the matter is I packed all the wrong clothes. 

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, for the last 3 months I have been a victim of the worlds most intensive wardrobe malfunction marathon in at least my own personal history. Function, fashion, poor packing and sizing has all collided in what could be considered the epitome of clothing catastrophes and I am continuously struggling to keep up. 

What I knew about Korean fashion amounted mostly to what I had seen on Instagram (Which was, by the way, both accurate and helpful, feel free to follow Korean Fashion on Instagram to support the cause). However, while I packed my bags hoping for a good mix of seasonal clothing that would fit me and be acceptable in the workplace, I failed to see a future of child-chasing, freezing temperatures, debilitating humidity, rapid weight loss (but not enough to really fit anything perfectly), awkward sizing, centimeters and millimeters, polyester and poorly sewn garments. Along with that, the constant stares of being a chubby white girl in a country full of women who have their own ideas of beauty... none of them really including me exactly, makes for an interesting experience.

Although I am told I make a mean Korean Cute Face...

Rawr

Anyway, upon getting here I could make an extensive list of things in a box in my in-laws garage or in the closet at my parents house (you know, the things I removed at the last minute so my suitcase was underweight) that would actually fit me and be fabulous wearing here in Pohang. Unfortunately, that list goes in the dump because what are in my closet here are mis-matchy frumpy work clothes, a shit-ton of leggings and some graphic tees that nobody cares about. What was I thinking? 

So fine, yup, mistake made... where do we go from here? Clothing is expensive no matter where you get it here in Korea. Unfortunately the cheapest place to get new clothes are subway stations and farmers market racks, those of which are few and far between. There's G-market, the amazon of Korea, but once you navigate that, the problem is more of a fitting issue. 

Im 5'4", 200 lbs and relatively full in the thigh/hip area. I have a bust, and I'm wide around. This is me: 

Hi!

I know, I'm pretty adorable. Regardless of how cute I am in this bundled-up picture, the overall effect of fashionista is not really achieved here. I want to be awesomely dressed Korean style. Why? Cause Korean fashion is devastatingly awesome. Here are the  10 main rules:

1. Layer
2. Oversized stuff is awesome. 
3. Leggings are a need, not a want. 
4. Don't show too much decolletage, its tacky and weird you silly American!
5. Sunglasses and headwear. 
6. "Bag Lady" gear is also awesome. 
7.  No shorts are too short (same with skirts... especially with skirts)
8. Sneakers of all types regardless of color match everything. 
9. Bows, ruffles, sequins, asymmetrical cuts and flower print... all feminine all the time. 

10: Make this face always when taking pictures.

So this is what you come up with if following the rules:

Shorts and tights!? Ball caps and slouch purses!? LEG WARMERS!? *drool*

Sweatshirts and baseball jackets with shorts and booties!? OH EM GEE! 

There is an obvious lack of pants in the above picture. That seems to be the main rule here for both summer and winter... legs get longer, pants get shorter, and you'd better cover up your upper body.

But the boots make up for the fact that you can't find her pants.

And a BLAZER!? who comes up with this stuff...!? It's all very exciting.

They look so happy in their hats and sweatshirts!

 Fashion dictates cute sweaters and layers on top because, um, duh, if your legs are uncovered you'll be nice and cool in the sweltering Korean heat! YAY!

Yeah, I made that face too.

So I shop. I shop and I shop and I spend more money on clothes than I ever have because there are no thrift stores and I-dong is expensive and I'm "Big Size". ... I can't stop missing all the clothes I know will work that are buried back home. I come up with adorable skirts, a few sqeezable tops and HEY! I fit men's pants and they look pretty damn cute! I layer. Its hot, but they Korean girls aren't hot... so I can deal right?

No. No I cannot. 

So back to the drawing board if only to avoid THIS: 

And also this...

Mmmm... bubble-gummy

But mostly THIS:

.....

I find that in the end, I can balance Fashion ad Functionality if I try to get soft-cottons, skirts, loose shirts etc. There's a great clothing line here called Uniqulo which sells a lot of soft clothing... in XL (which is really a large, but whatever). "Napping" clothing is good for the kindergarten teacher (leggings, t-shirts, cotton dresses and skirts). Cut-off shorts and altered dresses paired with "Big Size" tops and sweaters work for everyday. Here's are is my advice for a Fashionista in Korea:

1. Don't get discouraged size wise. You can do it. Pack basics. 

2. Don't care too much about matching. 

3. Accessorize. Bows, Shoes, Scarves, Belts.

4. Wear make-up. It helps protect you from pollution and it gives you the edge you need. 

5. Get a trendy, easy to maintain hair-cut and style it. It makes you look more polished.

6. You will most likely lose weight. Even when you are in the in-between zone, you can find clothes. 

7. Binge on your 1st paycheck. You need clothes there's plenty of time to save later.

8. If your bigger, try shopping maternity or mens. I do. ALL THE TIME. You get the desired look without the fight.

9. Be fearless. Use your "Foreigner" card to your advantage. Don't spend too much time adhering to norms. 

10. You will never be Korean. EVER. (unless you are Korean). Keep this in mind and don't forget to be you.

Also. Don't wear this:

They will try to temp you, but sweatsuits are not okay. EVER.

My motto each month is "Well, just a few more things and I can probably look my best." My results each month are satisfactory. Here are some selfies:

As you can see, I'm feeling pretty pleased with myself, relatively comfortable as the weather changes, and confident I can keep searching for clothes without having to kill myself over money or expectation. I'm following my own rules mixed with the Korean advice I get here and there. Overall, the disaster is slowly mending itself.. I just keep having to say relax, s'okay. Don't get all worked up 'cause there is a pile of fabulous clothing at home you cant ger to because you are thousands and thousands of miles away and---

yeah so anyway things are working out. So much so that  I'm making this face: 

You are totally jealous of my hat 

Happy Hunting!

-Jessie

The "Settled In" post

To my Readers:

I didn't write because I didn't know what to say. Now though, I think I can. Everything in the short term seemed to be so frivolous in the beginning... "oh hey, here we are at this place with the stuff". But really, when it comes down to it, we aren't tourists. My husband, Curtis, and I came to Korea not only because of the adventure but for the opportunity. We are teachers, that is our degree and our vocation. I personally have decided to commit to working with children young and older because it is a good fit for me. We have spent the last four-ish years of our lives pursuing this field and no sooner did they release us from our career program than we hopped on a plane bound for this country. We are here to be teachers, we are here because there are little to no job opportunities in California. We are here to see sights that we haven't seen before and find adventure in our first year of marriage. So here we are, newly weds with not much but what we brought with us in our suitcases. We read the blogs, studied the books, and tried to prepare ourselves for something, we knew not what.

Now we know more. And it changes the tone of the blog not for better or worse just different. Because... this isn't vacation, it is living life in a new and strange place. It is working and surviving and getting along where we have very little grounding. What before was novelty has become simply life, but harder than before because, in many ways during this period of adjustment, we are blind and deaf at once. Everything is new... the language seems insurmountable at times, the food quite different, the grass much greener where we once were. It wouldn't be exaggeration to say that the sky and moon seem different here, because they do. It wouldn't be exaggeration to say that we might have grown a little older since the end of February when we got on the plane bound for South Korea. What we read and expected ironed out differently, for better or worse. What they don't tell you before you arrive is almost more important than what they do. All the blogs, books and blather can be regarded or disregarded according to each person 's experience. 

What They Don't Tell You:

Work is hard.

When your about to leave many recruiters will say that the hours are short for good money. This is actually the case with some schools. However, We have been placed at a very prestigious school here in Pohang. No simple hours for us...We work from 8-6 everyday. Our workload is heavy, the hours tiring and the expectations of us never-ending. Here at iSponge English Institute, we have overweight expectations required of us which, given the hours in the day, cannot always be met. To counter this, however, we have bosses who are kind, helpful and caring. They try as hard as they can to make sure our adjustment is relatively easy and our needs met. In this way, we are almost coddled. I was sick a lot this month, and though I was unable to stay home from work, my director took me to the doctor and let me go home early. There seems to be a give and take here that balances some of the discomfort associated with the new work style and ethic we are yet unaccustomed to. We make 2.2 million won which is a little over 2 thousand dollars each per month. Its good money, but carries a lot of stress.

It's anything but picturesque.

I spend a lot of time trying to take pictures of the pretty things here in Korea. The older buildings, the palaces the cherry blossoms. But what I don't stress is that these buildings and landmarks are many times surrounded by slums and impoverished neighborhoods. There is a lot of dirt too, and garbage. In places like Seoul, this is less prevalent, but here in Pohang, the streets are dirty and dusty. It smells strange because the sewers are open and there is smelly garbage, often too many people and fish.... so many fish... just out there. There is mystery trash everywhere, spit on the ground and a fine layer of age and dust. And because of this...

Nothing lasts.

From the shoes on your feet to the clothes you wear... everything wears out twice as fast. We have been here for two months and so far I have worn out 2 pairs of shoes and ripped quite a few things. One of the problems is that everything must be hang-dried. We tend to take for granted the magic of a dryer where all elasticity is returned to clothes, most if not all lint gets removed and jeans become soft and pliable. Our clothes now are stretched out, hard as cardboard and covered in lint and other debris. We have to wait a day or two for our clothes to dry fully and have to be very strategic about how we go about doing our laundry. Results are wearing clothes too much, wearing them down, and being sad about it.

Being a pedestrian is more dangerous than being a driver.

When it comes to travel, there is really no safe way to go. Cars have the right of way. There are no turn signals and stoplights mean very little to the average driver. Close calls are multiple times, every day. There are few seat belts in cabs. Safely is second to getting where you need to be. I will never drive here. Ever. And I will always be careful where it is I step.

Some things are just... troublesome.

For example... we are video taped every second of the day. In school, outside, in shops, in our apartment hall. Everywhere. This is just how it works here. Everything is recorded. Parents come in and watch your class on a screen in the waiting area of the school and we as teachers may not even know.

Here's another: Korean parents are helicopter parents to the extreme. They complain if a child's hair looks wrong in the photos you take of them. Bumps and bruises from every-day 4-5 year old's are considered personal assaults on their children. The children are coddled, squeezed and gentled so badly that they are many times spoiled and undisciplined. I laugh at the way people remarked back home that "the children will be so well behaved". Its not true. It never was.

The culture here is fairly bigoted. They have one image for how a person should look and act and follow that. They have a view of the world they received from media images. To listen to them talk about "indians" and people of color is appalling to the western teacher. Even westernized bosses and directors have a vision for how things should be. This goes too for people with disabilities and mental disorders. They are avoided, scolded, chastised and of course "the mother is to blame" for their "issues and troublesome behavior"

There are ideas of how things should be. Korean culture is conservative. Nothing is wasted. Our apartment complex manager turned off the Internet for the whole complex (going on 4 days now) because he believed everyone is using too much Internet. There is little to no waste of anything, which is great, if not revolutionary... but it means that...

Everything is miniature.

Since nothing is wasted things are cut and drawn at exactly the size, shape or amount believed to be needed. Tiny cups of water are served with meals. Napkins are the size of one toilet paper square. The biggest bed size here is a little larger than a double. Clothing is sold in "big sizes" mostly only on the Internet, at least where I live. XXL means a large at the most. All food is shared so portions are medium sized compared to American size. Small cans of soda, small fries and burgers, small everything. You never realize how much opulence you live in until your husband is elbowing you off the bed or your trying to squeeze into a tiny pair of "plus sized" leggings.

Altogether, I have to try and express that the way things are here lies in our ability to expect the unexpected and get over ourselves. I have learned from long experience that many times I make things worse for myself by not accepting the way things are and adapting accordingly. We simply have to do just that, adapt. This blog won't be only woes, but it will have some. I wont just give you the niceties, because if anyone should come here later, its important to know what your in for, not just the goodies. 

After all of that... Welcome to Korea. Thanks for taking this journey with us. 

Jessie